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Sunday, May 29, 2005

      Sunday Humor - Part 3

A woman tries the door of an up market jeweller's at 6.30 p.m. one Christmas Eve. Finding it locked but there still being a few lights on, she knocks. Only the owner is still there. After weighing her up as a rich looking prospect, he decides to let her in. "I'm sorry to bother you so late", says the woman, " but as I walked past I had an idea. I've already bought my husband a new Lexus, and a BMW for my son, but I thought a gold chain might make a nice little stocking filler. Do you have any 18 ct. gold Albert chains?" "I think we may have one left, madam," said the jeweller, rubbing his hands at the thought of an extra juicy sale as he went to get it from the safe. "This is a lovely one which we have specially made for our most discerning clients. It weighs 200 grams, and I can let you have it for only £30 per gram, so it's a bargain at only £6,000!"
"Mmm," says the customer, "I would prefer an old one as I believe they were better"
"Quite right too, madam, if I may say so, but naturally you realise that the old ones command a hefty premium price?"
"Oh, of course," replies the customer, "but the price isn't an important factor."
"I'll go and check what else we may have", says the jeweller, thinking quickly, and not wanting to miss a sale whose potential seems to be getting better all the time. He takes the chain with him into the workshop, kicks it round the floor a few times, beats it with a hammer, removes the fastener with its tell-tale hallmark and date letter, rubs some old polishing rouge into it before shaking it round the filter of the polishing machine. By now it is unrecognisable. He finds a slightly different fastener, and takes that and the chain out to his patiently waiting customer.
"Wonderful news, madam, this must be your lucky day. Not only have I found a very rare antique Albert chain that we must have been fortunate to acquire in the last few days, but it turns out to be in excellent condition for its age, and I have managed to find a fastener. It looks very dirty and neglected, but if you don't mind waiting while I clean it up, you will see what a wonderful example it is of the ancient chain-maker's art."
"How wonderful", says the lady, "of course I don't mind waiting, I'll be counting the money, I presume you don't mind accepting cash."
"Not at all madam, I'll be as quick as I can. Help yourself to some of our sherry and mince pies, while you're waiting".
Fifteen minutes later, he returns, glowing triumphantly. "My word, this is fortunate. Underneath all that dirt, this has turned out to be a very fine example in excellent condition. Despite that, I can still let you have it for a very reasonable £40 per gram".
"Splendid", says the lady, "how much does that come to?"
"Let's see, 205 grams at £40, that's exactly £8,200".
"Excellent", says the lady, "I'll take both!"
Have a good weekend! :)

Sunday Humor - Part 1
Sunday Humor - Part 2

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